Before you start reading this, keep a few things in mind.
1. If you haven’t seen a single Christopher Nolan film, you might want to stay away from this piece because you might not understand the sentiments and fall asleep halfway through the piece. Continue at your own risk.
2. The idea behind the piece is not to make you like the man or his films.
3. I’m not a Nolan fanboy or a Nolan fanatic. I’m just a Nolan fan. What’s the difference, you ask? Well a fan is an avid follower not a blind devotee.
4. The views and ideas expressed here and mine and maybe that of a few other Nolan fans. You may not give a rat’s furry little ass about what is said here but that would eventually make the reading of this piece redundant.
As I write this, I have just come back from my 4th viewing of Christopher Nolan’s Inception and to quote Ellis Redding from The Sahwshank Redemption “I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.” But anybody who has seen and known the genius of Nolan will know what I’m talking about. As I write this, critics are hailing it as his masterpiece, audiences are loving it and the cash registers are ringing, though at $60 million, it is far from his last film, The Dark Knight which had an opening weekend collection of $158 million and collected a Billion dollars worldwide. Here in Mumbai, I have experienced things that have made me happy beyond words - people giving a standing ovation to an English film. I really can’t remember the last time I heard so many OH FUCKs and OH SHITs during any film. I can’t remember the last time I heard so many furious discussions as I left the movie theatre. Discussions, mind you, not proclamations. And yet I find a lot of people calling it an over-hyped film, unnecessarily complicated film, emotionally weak film, action-heavy film. That’s fine. Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one – and I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way. Cinema or any art form, for that matter, divides people as much as it unites them. For someone who loves and lives hip-hop, I have pretty much come to accept the fact that different people will have different choices and opinions.
It’s nice to see that people are appreciating a cerebral film like Inception. Some might consider the word ‘cerebral’ debatable but what else would you call a film that enters a person’s mind? After films like The Matrix (1999), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) and Slipstream (2007), it can’t be called a totally original idea. In a time where there is almost nothing new to do, just new ways of doing things, Nolan has managed to create a new world and successfully lure the viewer into it. Where most filmmakers will show you what’s happening, Nolan manages to make things happen to you. To paraphrase Nolan himself,
“I always find myself gravitating to the analogy of a maze. If you picture the story as a maze, you don’t want to be hanging above the maze watching the characters make the wrong choices because it’s frustrating. You actually want to be in the maze with them, making the turns with them. I quite like to be in that maze.”
With Inception, Nolan does to you what he’s doing to the characters in the film. He puts you in a maze and lets you navigate your way. With The Prestige (2006), he tells the story of 2 rival magicians who entertain people by often misguiding them and as you watch the film, you realize that Nolan is doing the same to you. He doesn’t merely show you a new world; he brings you into it and then takes you on a journey like never before. But he is careful to show you only what he wants to show you and the way he wants you to see it. A reviewer put it best when he said that Nolan is like a Grandmaster who can see 10 moves ahead of you.
The acting, the visuals, the action, the music; all are top notch. But what stands out for me in the film is the story. Anybody who likes Nolan will tell you that he is a great story writer and an even better storyteller. For me, the rise of Nolan is truly the return of the single most important element in cinema – the story. You can simply read a Nolan screenplay and realize that it can be turned into a great film. Which is the reason why even people who generally stay away from Sci-Fi as a genre, have liked the film. The Matrix was a milestone because apart from Sci-Fi lovers, it managed to attract a lot of people who thought of Sci-Fi as something that won’t appeal to them. Inception will do the same, even if on a smaller scale. Because behind all the technology, machines, androids and aliens, a classic Sci-Fi film will reveal more about humanity and being human than any family drama ever can.
The only thing that I feel was lacking, and I realized it quite late, was that in a film that deals with dreams, there was no sex. Any human being, who has dreamed, has dreamed of sex. Not to mention, what happens if a child is born in a dream? Maybe too much to ask for in a single film. I’m sure that in the 8 years that it took to write the film, Nolan must have considered and discarded the idea for a reason!
I first discovered the world of Christopher Nolan on a winter night in November 2006 when I sat down to watch The Prestige. I had heard about this cult-classic called Memento (2000) and the resurrection of the caped crusader with Batman Begins (2005) but never really got to watching either of them. I had just begun to discover Hollywood movies and I had too many classics to catch up with. But the trailer for The Prestige totally grabbed me from the first time I saw it. I have seen the trailer more times than the number of films I have seen till date. As the film ended and the credits began rolling with Thom Yorke singing in the background, I knew I had discovered two British gems, Christopher Nolan and Radiohead (which happens to be Nolan’s favourite band). I also realized that I had finished atleast 10 Ultra Milds in the process. Armed with more cigarettes, I watched the film again. And again. After watching it for the third time, I realized that the film had raised more questions than it had with the first viewing. Obviously, I didn’t get any sleep for the remainder of that night. For the next month or so, I recommended it to as many people as I could and watched it a few more times. I was hooked. I followed it up with Memento, Batman Begins, Following and Insomnia. Though The Prestige remains my favourite Nolan film till date, each and every film gave me something to think about. The one that is my least favourite is the only one he did not write – Insomnia (2002), not to say that it’s a bad film. His films demand and certainly reward the viewer's attention. Like Alfred Borden in The Prestige would say, "Are you watching closely?"
I am yet to meet a person who has watched his films and disliked any one. They may like one more than the other but there’s always something to take away from every Nolan film. Every Nolan fan has one film that blew his mind and they will watch every film that he ever makes for the rest of his career hoping and praying that he can make a better one. That is where the disappointment stems from. Every time, I watch a Nolan film I secretly hope that the film turns to be better than The Prestige. It may be The Dark Knight for some and Memento for others but I guess the sentiment is the same. And just to clarify, I don’t feel the same for any other director. Ask anybody about David Fincher, they will tell you that he’s the guy who directed Fight Club (1999) and Se7en (1997), Sam Mendes will always be the guy who directed American Beauty (1999) and Andy and Larry Wachowski will always be the guys who gave us The Matrix (1999). You ask people who Christopher Nolan is and you will get very different answers. Ask them about the one Nolan film you dislike and there will be a long pause followed by “I don’t really dislike any Nolan film but...”
There are other filmmakers like Martin Scorcese, Steven Spielberg or Stanley Kubrick who might generate varied responses but their films have been around for almost 30 to 40 years while Nolan has been around for 10. The only present-day director who comes close is Quentin Tarantino. Both Tarantino and Nolan make strange casting choices that seem to work, don’t believe in churning out films by the dozen and both write their own films. An interesting parallel is that my least favourite Tarantino film is the one that is not his original screenplay – Jackie Brown (1997). Nobody writes conversations and displays style and class like Tarantino but as an overall filmmaker, I’d still go for Nolan.
The fact that he is a recluse, always wears a suit no matter where he’s shooting, never uses a second unit director, dislikes and avoids CGI, never explains his films and is extremely humble; just add to his allure and enigma. Like the character of Neo in The Matrix, he is an anomaly of sorts in today’s world and for that very reason, I believe that he is The One.
But at the end of it, after all my hosannas, you may not like his film(s) or his filmmaking. And nobody explains it better than Nolan himself,
“Films are subjective – what you like, what you don’t like. But every time I go to the cinema and pay my money and sit down and watch a film go up on the big screen, I want to feel that the people who made this film feel that it’s the best movie in the world, that they poured everything into it. Whether or not I agree with what they’ve done, I want that effort there. I want that sincerity. And when I don’t feel it, that’s the only time I feel like I’m wasting my time at the movies”
Amen to that.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Rann Ramu, Rann!
or How I learned to stop expecting and be indifferent!
(This time, it’s personal)
As a Christian, I am supposed to believe that Christ lived and suffered for the sins of mankind and was eventually crucified and resurrected. Well, I don’t but that’s another story. My point is that I might not believe in the resurrection of Jesus but I am an optimistic person and there are a few resurrections that I have been waiting for. The first and the most important one is that of Sachin Tendulkar. I will die a peaceful man if I can witness Sachin return to his sparkling form and help India win the World Cup. Now before you haters start saying anything, I would like to present a crude but effective reply in anticipation – Fuck you!
The second would be that of one my favourite singers of all time – George Michael. Now, once again before you say something about the 'has-been gay singer who was arrested at a public loo for indecent exposure' I would like to say that he is a brilliant songwriter and an even better singer. Too bad if all that you remember of him is “Last Christmas” and “Careless Whisper”. That’s like remembering Rahman for “Jai Ho” and “Ringa Ringa Ringa”. I didn’t even know how bad it was till I saw Music & Lyrics (2007). If you have a film where Hugh Grant plays you, you know you fucked up somewhere . . .real bad!
The third was the resurrection of a man who single-handedly created and then ruined the genre of Bollywood-Underworld films. Ram Gopal Verma’s list of good films is really enviable and that is probably why people still put money into his films and even try to watch his films. While most people consider Satya (1998) as his best, I would go for the more refined and hence underappreciated Company (2002). That’s not a debate I want to get into right now. That requires time, patience and a lot of booze so if you have all three, let’s meet up soon. His Sarkar (2005) was an extremely good take on The Godfather. His Rangeela (1995) is legendary for many reasons – Rahman’s first Hindi film, the raunchy launch of Urmila, Aamir’s brilliant performance and the advent of his award-shunning etc. His Raat (1992) is, in my humble opinion, one of the scariest horror films this country has produced. Shiva (1989) was a crackling debut that was never appreciated at the time but has now gathered a cult following. There are a few honorable mentions too like Jungle (2000), Kaun (1999) and even Naach (2004). The last time Ramu made something that didn’t make you want to throw up was Sarkar Raaj (2008). Don’t get me wrong, it was a disappointment after Sarkar but still, it was bearable and decent.
These days, the consistency of Ramu lies in the way he consistently disappoints. His films after Sarkar can be divided into two categories – One where he says “Come here, I’m going to take a dump on you” and the other where he lures you with the promise of cake. You go along because of the beautiful icing and the baker’s reputation in the good ol’ days. It’s only when you bite into a piece that you realize that it’s filled with all the shit that he couldn’t drop on you from his previous films. All Ramu fans have fallen for atleast one film from either of the categories. I know I have.
These days I go for a Ramu film saying “Come on, how bad can it be?” and every time Ramu manages to quietly say “That’s how bad!”. When I heard that Ishqiya and Rann were clashing on the 29th of Jan, only out of respect to Ramu, I had to pretend to decide which one I would watch first. Though Ishqiya was also a major disappointment, I had no idea what Rann had in store for me. I watched it last night and I have come very close to giving up on Ramu.
When I first saw the critics’ comments on the cover of Mumbai Mirror, I got that sinking feeling. Subhash K Jha had claimed it was Ramu’s best film since Company and he was on the top of the list with 4 or 4.5 stars. Any list with that name on top is trying to con you into one big crap-fest.
I felt like Ramu was trying to do a Bhandarkar-style commentary meets Aamir Khan-message film and ended up achieving neither. I guess the DoP decided to take most of the days off leaving the camera in the hands of Ramu who soon realized that tripods and trolleys are expensive whereas weed is cheap. The camera movements can put Sunny Deol to shame. His Epidermis-exposing extreme close-ups in Sarkar still went with the intensity of the film but in Rann he just said “How can I distract my viewers from the predictable story, mediocre acting and pathetic writing? Aha, I’ll just go crazy with the camera!” And then, he did. Sudeep, unlike popular opinion, gave a bad performance with his US-returned character and strong South-Indian accent. Both Gul Panag and Neetu Chandra were terribly miscast. Neetu Chandra who does nothing but wear skimpy clothes that reveal her ample self, especially took the cake towards the end. There is a moment where she has to give an utterly shocked expression and she tries to get it right but making her eyeballs seem bigger than her boobs. No way is that happening anytime soon! Paresh Rawal does something that he has been doing forever – another crappy villainous role for the money. It’s ok, I understand. A man’s gotta eat! Rajat Kapoor was again terribly wasted. Ritesh was just about bearable and Mohnish Behl starts off well till he breaks into the “Let-me-reveal-my-devious-plot-in-case-somebody-might-be-recording” speech. Amitabh is the only saving grace again and that too because the rest of the cast is so bad. With a few good actors in the equation, he would have to step-up his game up to stay in the fray. One thing that stands out, for me, are the songs of the film. There are many reasons to put songs in any film. Great lyrics lying around, great music lying around, promoting your not-so-hot muse, getting eyeballs through hot item number, just to break the monotony of the narrative. With this film, Ramu has come up with a new one – to fuck up an already bad film. Each and every song is so bad that I’m at a loss for words. The lyrics seem like they were written through a vox-pop on the streets of Delhi. All in all, a truly disgusting experience so much so that I have almost given up on Ramu . . . almost.
Unlike Jesus who suffered for his people, died and was eventually resurrected, it is we the audience who are suffering through his films, wishing we were dead and yet hoping to witness the resurrection of a man who was once a God.
Highly unlikely but if Ramu is reading this . . . Sorry if you feel hurt but there is a lot of love and respect behind this ruthless criticism and more importantly like Munna said “Apun public hai. Kissi ko kuch bhi bol sakta hai!” So for Christ’s sake, don’t disappoint with Rakta Charitra (2010)
(This time, it’s personal)
As a Christian, I am supposed to believe that Christ lived and suffered for the sins of mankind and was eventually crucified and resurrected. Well, I don’t but that’s another story. My point is that I might not believe in the resurrection of Jesus but I am an optimistic person and there are a few resurrections that I have been waiting for. The first and the most important one is that of Sachin Tendulkar. I will die a peaceful man if I can witness Sachin return to his sparkling form and help India win the World Cup. Now before you haters start saying anything, I would like to present a crude but effective reply in anticipation – Fuck you!
The second would be that of one my favourite singers of all time – George Michael. Now, once again before you say something about the 'has-been gay singer who was arrested at a public loo for indecent exposure' I would like to say that he is a brilliant songwriter and an even better singer. Too bad if all that you remember of him is “Last Christmas” and “Careless Whisper”. That’s like remembering Rahman for “Jai Ho” and “Ringa Ringa Ringa”. I didn’t even know how bad it was till I saw Music & Lyrics (2007). If you have a film where Hugh Grant plays you, you know you fucked up somewhere . . .real bad!
The third was the resurrection of a man who single-handedly created and then ruined the genre of Bollywood-Underworld films. Ram Gopal Verma’s list of good films is really enviable and that is probably why people still put money into his films and even try to watch his films. While most people consider Satya (1998) as his best, I would go for the more refined and hence underappreciated Company (2002). That’s not a debate I want to get into right now. That requires time, patience and a lot of booze so if you have all three, let’s meet up soon. His Sarkar (2005) was an extremely good take on The Godfather. His Rangeela (1995) is legendary for many reasons – Rahman’s first Hindi film, the raunchy launch of Urmila, Aamir’s brilliant performance and the advent of his award-shunning etc. His Raat (1992) is, in my humble opinion, one of the scariest horror films this country has produced. Shiva (1989) was a crackling debut that was never appreciated at the time but has now gathered a cult following. There are a few honorable mentions too like Jungle (2000), Kaun (1999) and even Naach (2004). The last time Ramu made something that didn’t make you want to throw up was Sarkar Raaj (2008). Don’t get me wrong, it was a disappointment after Sarkar but still, it was bearable and decent.
These days, the consistency of Ramu lies in the way he consistently disappoints. His films after Sarkar can be divided into two categories – One where he says “Come here, I’m going to take a dump on you” and the other where he lures you with the promise of cake. You go along because of the beautiful icing and the baker’s reputation in the good ol’ days. It’s only when you bite into a piece that you realize that it’s filled with all the shit that he couldn’t drop on you from his previous films. All Ramu fans have fallen for atleast one film from either of the categories. I know I have.
These days I go for a Ramu film saying “Come on, how bad can it be?” and every time Ramu manages to quietly say “That’s how bad!”. When I heard that Ishqiya and Rann were clashing on the 29th of Jan, only out of respect to Ramu, I had to pretend to decide which one I would watch first. Though Ishqiya was also a major disappointment, I had no idea what Rann had in store for me. I watched it last night and I have come very close to giving up on Ramu.
When I first saw the critics’ comments on the cover of Mumbai Mirror, I got that sinking feeling. Subhash K Jha had claimed it was Ramu’s best film since Company and he was on the top of the list with 4 or 4.5 stars. Any list with that name on top is trying to con you into one big crap-fest.
I felt like Ramu was trying to do a Bhandarkar-style commentary meets Aamir Khan-message film and ended up achieving neither. I guess the DoP decided to take most of the days off leaving the camera in the hands of Ramu who soon realized that tripods and trolleys are expensive whereas weed is cheap. The camera movements can put Sunny Deol to shame. His Epidermis-exposing extreme close-ups in Sarkar still went with the intensity of the film but in Rann he just said “How can I distract my viewers from the predictable story, mediocre acting and pathetic writing? Aha, I’ll just go crazy with the camera!” And then, he did. Sudeep, unlike popular opinion, gave a bad performance with his US-returned character and strong South-Indian accent. Both Gul Panag and Neetu Chandra were terribly miscast. Neetu Chandra who does nothing but wear skimpy clothes that reveal her ample self, especially took the cake towards the end. There is a moment where she has to give an utterly shocked expression and she tries to get it right but making her eyeballs seem bigger than her boobs. No way is that happening anytime soon! Paresh Rawal does something that he has been doing forever – another crappy villainous role for the money. It’s ok, I understand. A man’s gotta eat! Rajat Kapoor was again terribly wasted. Ritesh was just about bearable and Mohnish Behl starts off well till he breaks into the “Let-me-reveal-my-devious-plot-in-case-somebody-might-be-recording” speech. Amitabh is the only saving grace again and that too because the rest of the cast is so bad. With a few good actors in the equation, he would have to step-up his game up to stay in the fray. One thing that stands out, for me, are the songs of the film. There are many reasons to put songs in any film. Great lyrics lying around, great music lying around, promoting your not-so-hot muse, getting eyeballs through hot item number, just to break the monotony of the narrative. With this film, Ramu has come up with a new one – to fuck up an already bad film. Each and every song is so bad that I’m at a loss for words. The lyrics seem like they were written through a vox-pop on the streets of Delhi. All in all, a truly disgusting experience so much so that I have almost given up on Ramu . . . almost.
Unlike Jesus who suffered for his people, died and was eventually resurrected, it is we the audience who are suffering through his films, wishing we were dead and yet hoping to witness the resurrection of a man who was once a God.
Highly unlikely but if Ramu is reading this . . . Sorry if you feel hurt but there is a lot of love and respect behind this ruthless criticism and more importantly like Munna said “Apun public hai. Kissi ko kuch bhi bol sakta hai!” So for Christ’s sake, don’t disappoint with Rakta Charitra (2010)
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Story of my life!
One of my favourite films of all time is Charlie Kaufman’s Adaptation (2002). Though the film was directed by Spike Jonze of Being John Malkovich fame, I would still call it Kaufman’s film. Nicholas Cage walked away with just an Oscar nomination where he should have won his second Oscar for Best Actor (after the brilliant Leaving Las Vegas). For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, please go watch the film once you’re done reading this. Hell, I’ll even lend it to you.
Anyway, the story goes that after the success of Being John Malkovich (1999), Kaufman began to write a screenplay adapted from a book but just couldn’t turn the fabulous book into a decent film. So what does he do? He writes this film about the writer Charlie Kaufman trying to adapt a book into a film. A classic case of turning inability into an opportunity. Anyway, what ensues is too complicated to explain. I couldn’t if I wanted to.
Well, coming to the point, I just wonder how these writers think. There comes a time in all our lives when we watch movie or read a book and say “How do people come up with this stuff?” Well, I’ve pondered over that question many times. What follows is a statement - “I could never think of something like that” and then the question - “Or can I?” The answer to that question can either change your life for the better or reveal just one more beautiful thing that you suck at. The question troubled me quite a few times but I was too busy creating a fool of myself in some major areas of life to realize that I couldn’t write worth shit. As time passed by and I saw more and more people writing, I felt like the time has come to give it a shot. The final nail in the coffin, however, was in the form of a film poster. The film in question was YRF’s Pyaar Impossible (2009) and the piece of information that grabbed my balls and thrust them into the meat grinder was “Written by Uday Chopra”. I said to myself “If this doesn’t put you pen to the pad, nothing will”.
Armed with an introductory chapter from Syd Field’s book and a low self-esteem (many thanks to the poster), I set out like Frodo heading into the dark lands of Morodor. Little did I know that I would be beaten to a pulp before I even got out of the Shire. What happened? I had an interesting character in mind. I knew the kind of story that I wanted to write. The atmosphere was set. I had it all. And then I asked the all important question – “So this is my main character, now what happens to him?” And that’s where it all came crumbling down. I just realized that I had everything but a story.
How do people write a story? Do they start with an interesting character in mind or do they have a defining action around which the story revolves or do they have a major conflict to start with? Thanks to Syd Field and extensive reading about films and screenplays, I can atleast list out all the things that were missing from my endeavour. This list ran into a few days and then suddenly something struck me - If every story or screenplay that I liked seemed beyond my realm of imagination, would anything that strikes me make for a good story? And if it doesn’t interest me, would anybody else be interested in it?
American Beauty (1999) has one of my favourite lines in a film – “It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself.” And I think that is what a good story is all about. The story must be able to surprise the writer – “Shit! Did I just write that?” Once the writer thinks that his story is so good that he can scarcely believe that he came up with it, then half the job is done. Then it’s upto the audience and as far as they are concerned you never know what’s going to happen. But, if nothing else, you are left with a story that atleast you’re proud of. And for people like me, and Uday, that is good enough.
So with renewed self-confidence and morning-show tickets to “Pyaar Impossible”, I promise to try. Try till I succeed or atleast till I get tired of humiliating myself.
Anyway, the story goes that after the success of Being John Malkovich (1999), Kaufman began to write a screenplay adapted from a book but just couldn’t turn the fabulous book into a decent film. So what does he do? He writes this film about the writer Charlie Kaufman trying to adapt a book into a film. A classic case of turning inability into an opportunity. Anyway, what ensues is too complicated to explain. I couldn’t if I wanted to.
Well, coming to the point, I just wonder how these writers think. There comes a time in all our lives when we watch movie or read a book and say “How do people come up with this stuff?” Well, I’ve pondered over that question many times. What follows is a statement - “I could never think of something like that” and then the question - “Or can I?” The answer to that question can either change your life for the better or reveal just one more beautiful thing that you suck at. The question troubled me quite a few times but I was too busy creating a fool of myself in some major areas of life to realize that I couldn’t write worth shit. As time passed by and I saw more and more people writing, I felt like the time has come to give it a shot. The final nail in the coffin, however, was in the form of a film poster. The film in question was YRF’s Pyaar Impossible (2009) and the piece of information that grabbed my balls and thrust them into the meat grinder was “Written by Uday Chopra”. I said to myself “If this doesn’t put you pen to the pad, nothing will”.
Armed with an introductory chapter from Syd Field’s book and a low self-esteem (many thanks to the poster), I set out like Frodo heading into the dark lands of Morodor. Little did I know that I would be beaten to a pulp before I even got out of the Shire. What happened? I had an interesting character in mind. I knew the kind of story that I wanted to write. The atmosphere was set. I had it all. And then I asked the all important question – “So this is my main character, now what happens to him?” And that’s where it all came crumbling down. I just realized that I had everything but a story.
How do people write a story? Do they start with an interesting character in mind or do they have a defining action around which the story revolves or do they have a major conflict to start with? Thanks to Syd Field and extensive reading about films and screenplays, I can atleast list out all the things that were missing from my endeavour. This list ran into a few days and then suddenly something struck me - If every story or screenplay that I liked seemed beyond my realm of imagination, would anything that strikes me make for a good story? And if it doesn’t interest me, would anybody else be interested in it?
American Beauty (1999) has one of my favourite lines in a film – “It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself.” And I think that is what a good story is all about. The story must be able to surprise the writer – “Shit! Did I just write that?” Once the writer thinks that his story is so good that he can scarcely believe that he came up with it, then half the job is done. Then it’s upto the audience and as far as they are concerned you never know what’s going to happen. But, if nothing else, you are left with a story that atleast you’re proud of. And for people like me, and Uday, that is good enough.
So with renewed self-confidence and morning-show tickets to “Pyaar Impossible”, I promise to try. Try till I succeed or atleast till I get tired of humiliating myself.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Why so serious?
"Apart from that, did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?" That one always gets a chuckle out of me. Some people don't get that joke. I don't know whether to attribute it to their disinterest towards history or their lack of common-sense. Of the ones who do get it, most of them don't like to laugh at it because they think it's insensitive. A friend of mine found it rather distasteful and I got an earful about respect for the dead. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm buried alive by a bunch of Yankees for repeating that joke. Would President Lincoln raise an eyebrow to it? I don't know. But I'd rather have a joke in my name rather than a statue in my honor.
As a child I would get into all sorts of trouble. And when I was being lectured by my mother, I would always make a silly joke or a smart-alec comment. This would drive my mom crazy and she would scream at the top of her voice, "Is this all a joke to you? Is life, a joke to you?" I never mustered the courage to say "Isn't it?" but deep down I always believed it. Life is a big joke that God is playing on us so the least we could do was laugh along because I'm sure he's up there looking at us fools and he's in splits.
This is a generation that has laughed its head off, thanks to the sarcasm of Chandler Bing and the buffoonery of Homer Simpson but I'm sure the whole family sits down to watch Tom chase Jerry around the house and enjoy the comic genius of a certain Mr. Chaplin. Laughter is something that can cross boundaries and generations. But making people laugh is no joke. Which is why I have the utmost respect for stand-up comedians and comic writers who make us laugh, show after show and episode after episode.
The world is full of people who can crack a joke but not too many who can take a joke. I have faced this problem all my life. In school, you have teachers who can really rip you apart with their sarcasm. But try giving them a taste of their own medicine and all of a sudden, you've got this attitude problem.In school, I had a thing for funny one-liners and against all warning, I wrote the following thought for the day – Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. While one teacher appreciated the humour, another went ballistic. 30 minutes and a moral lecture later, I realized that it is important to know your audience before you display your comic prowess. But I never really came to terms with that observation. I'm not sure how many of you have faced this problem but sometimes the joke needs to cracked. It's like a little person inside your belly screaming and kicking to get out into the world. In some of the most inappropriate situations, you come up with a joke and you're faced with the eternal dilemma. I can actually hear a priestly voice in my head saying "speak now or forever hold your peace". It's like the flatulence you hold in. Spares the others but makes you uncomfortable.
Unfortunately one man's humour is another man's humiliation. Today, you can be judged, reprimanded or even killed for what you laugh at. We live in an age where we need to be politically correct and people find it difficult to laugh at themselves. That in my opinion is a very respectable trait – to laugh at oneself. If you can do that, life will seem like a breeze. I'm reminded of a contestant on a personality contest. The massive guy that he was, a judge tried to get some humour into the conversation and asked him what his favourite bedroom line was. Pat came the reply "Honey, you better be on top". We all had a hearty laugh. Now that I think of it, it was his ability to laugh at himself which was more impressive than the joke itself.
We live in turbulent times and people often wonder what the world needs most in this hour of chaos. If some of the most beautiful women over the last few years are to believed, it is world peace. A religious man would say that it's Godliness. Most people would say it's tolerance and I agree. And if you can't tolerate a joke, there's not much you can tolerate.
As a child I would get into all sorts of trouble. And when I was being lectured by my mother, I would always make a silly joke or a smart-alec comment. This would drive my mom crazy and she would scream at the top of her voice, "Is this all a joke to you? Is life, a joke to you?" I never mustered the courage to say "Isn't it?" but deep down I always believed it. Life is a big joke that God is playing on us so the least we could do was laugh along because I'm sure he's up there looking at us fools and he's in splits.
This is a generation that has laughed its head off, thanks to the sarcasm of Chandler Bing and the buffoonery of Homer Simpson but I'm sure the whole family sits down to watch Tom chase Jerry around the house and enjoy the comic genius of a certain Mr. Chaplin. Laughter is something that can cross boundaries and generations. But making people laugh is no joke. Which is why I have the utmost respect for stand-up comedians and comic writers who make us laugh, show after show and episode after episode.
The world is full of people who can crack a joke but not too many who can take a joke. I have faced this problem all my life. In school, you have teachers who can really rip you apart with their sarcasm. But try giving them a taste of their own medicine and all of a sudden, you've got this attitude problem.In school, I had a thing for funny one-liners and against all warning, I wrote the following thought for the day – Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. While one teacher appreciated the humour, another went ballistic. 30 minutes and a moral lecture later, I realized that it is important to know your audience before you display your comic prowess. But I never really came to terms with that observation. I'm not sure how many of you have faced this problem but sometimes the joke needs to cracked. It's like a little person inside your belly screaming and kicking to get out into the world. In some of the most inappropriate situations, you come up with a joke and you're faced with the eternal dilemma. I can actually hear a priestly voice in my head saying "speak now or forever hold your peace". It's like the flatulence you hold in. Spares the others but makes you uncomfortable.
Unfortunately one man's humour is another man's humiliation. Today, you can be judged, reprimanded or even killed for what you laugh at. We live in an age where we need to be politically correct and people find it difficult to laugh at themselves. That in my opinion is a very respectable trait – to laugh at oneself. If you can do that, life will seem like a breeze. I'm reminded of a contestant on a personality contest. The massive guy that he was, a judge tried to get some humour into the conversation and asked him what his favourite bedroom line was. Pat came the reply "Honey, you better be on top". We all had a hearty laugh. Now that I think of it, it was his ability to laugh at himself which was more impressive than the joke itself.
We live in turbulent times and people often wonder what the world needs most in this hour of chaos. If some of the most beautiful women over the last few years are to believed, it is world peace. A religious man would say that it's Godliness. Most people would say it's tolerance and I agree. And if you can't tolerate a joke, there's not much you can tolerate.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Banking on your name
“What's in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet.”
Sure. That may have been true for my man Willy but then he had no bank accounts, PAN numbers or driving licenses to maintain. It’s not like he got a cheque for writing “King Lear” or a wire transfer to his online account for “Macbeth”. Unfortunately, today a strange name could keep you away from your earnings or get you killed, depending on the gravity of the situation. Allow me to elaborate.
It all started in 1983 when my parents decided that the world they were living in wasn’t turbulent enough. So after causing my mother considerable pain, I arrived into this world. Little did she know that the pain of raising me would make the delivery seem like a peck on the cheek. My parents were trying to zero-in on a name and some friend suggested Vinil. The logic (whatever little) being that my father’s name begins with V and my mother’s with L. And if that wasn’t stupid enough - my parents agreed. Now that I think of it, does anybody remember when they first realized or understood what their name was? I don’t. But by the time I knew what my name was and had to tell other people what it was, I realized that I was fucked. I mean I have never met someone who got my name in the first go. Vineet? Vilin? Milind? I swear I have been addressed by more names than Lord Krishna. As far as chicks are concerned, sadly I haven’t been as lucky as him. Sometimes I give out common names like Vinay or Vineet. Saves time and effort. And you might think that’s enough to mess up someone’s life. But the plot thickens.
I come from a part of the country where it is a common practice not to have surnames or last names. What we do instead is add the father’s name to the first name and the name of the village mixed with it. So my father is Venugopal Kolothuparambil Gopala Pillai or Venugopal K.G. So my name would be Vinil V.K or Vinil Venugopal Kolothuparambil. Once again I had a tough time pronouncing and spelling out “Kolothuparambil” which is my father’s village. After graduation, I’d had enough so I cut it down to Vinil Venugopal. But the government had other plans for me. At my current place of employment, I have given my name as Vinil Venugopal but my driving license and my bank account (which was made through my license) says V K Vinil. So my hard-earned money will be a distant dream till I change my name or get a new cheque. This might seem funny to all you Singhs, Aggarwals, Srivastavas and Iyers (these are the only people who read my blog) but this what I go through everyday. It isn’t much considering people get killed for being a Salim or Hussain. Whatever the Bard may say, a there's a lot in a name.
So I've decided that my child will not go through what I went through. I have already begun looking for a cool-sounding last name. Any suggestions are welcome.
Now I must go. My boss will kill me if she finds out I’m blogging instead of doing my work.
“Wait a minute! Did you say ‘she’?”
“Yes?”
“You have a female boss?”
“Ya, so?”
“What her name”
“Natasha”
“Whoa whoa whoa. She hot?”
Yeah, right! What’s in a name.
Sure. That may have been true for my man Willy but then he had no bank accounts, PAN numbers or driving licenses to maintain. It’s not like he got a cheque for writing “King Lear” or a wire transfer to his online account for “Macbeth”. Unfortunately, today a strange name could keep you away from your earnings or get you killed, depending on the gravity of the situation. Allow me to elaborate.
It all started in 1983 when my parents decided that the world they were living in wasn’t turbulent enough. So after causing my mother considerable pain, I arrived into this world. Little did she know that the pain of raising me would make the delivery seem like a peck on the cheek. My parents were trying to zero-in on a name and some friend suggested Vinil. The logic (whatever little) being that my father’s name begins with V and my mother’s with L. And if that wasn’t stupid enough - my parents agreed. Now that I think of it, does anybody remember when they first realized or understood what their name was? I don’t. But by the time I knew what my name was and had to tell other people what it was, I realized that I was fucked. I mean I have never met someone who got my name in the first go. Vineet? Vilin? Milind? I swear I have been addressed by more names than Lord Krishna. As far as chicks are concerned, sadly I haven’t been as lucky as him. Sometimes I give out common names like Vinay or Vineet. Saves time and effort. And you might think that’s enough to mess up someone’s life. But the plot thickens.
I come from a part of the country where it is a common practice not to have surnames or last names. What we do instead is add the father’s name to the first name and the name of the village mixed with it. So my father is Venugopal Kolothuparambil Gopala Pillai or Venugopal K.G. So my name would be Vinil V.K or Vinil Venugopal Kolothuparambil. Once again I had a tough time pronouncing and spelling out “Kolothuparambil” which is my father’s village. After graduation, I’d had enough so I cut it down to Vinil Venugopal. But the government had other plans for me. At my current place of employment, I have given my name as Vinil Venugopal but my driving license and my bank account (which was made through my license) says V K Vinil. So my hard-earned money will be a distant dream till I change my name or get a new cheque. This might seem funny to all you Singhs, Aggarwals, Srivastavas and Iyers (these are the only people who read my blog) but this what I go through everyday. It isn’t much considering people get killed for being a Salim or Hussain. Whatever the Bard may say, a there's a lot in a name.
So I've decided that my child will not go through what I went through. I have already begun looking for a cool-sounding last name. Any suggestions are welcome.
Now I must go. My boss will kill me if she finds out I’m blogging instead of doing my work.
“Wait a minute! Did you say ‘she’?”
“Yes?”
“You have a female boss?”
“Ya, so?”
“What her name”
“Natasha”
“Whoa whoa whoa. She hot?”
Yeah, right! What’s in a name.
Friday, October 5, 2007
How Dumb is My Valley!
When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake said Ed Norton’s character in Fight Club. Exactly my sentiments. I have joined a new organization where I will be working nights till the end of this year. Though this provides me with ample time and bandwidth to download movies, I hardly get time to watch them. Watching movies on the big screen almost seems like a luxury.
But finally after 2 weeks, I made it! I got the chance to watch Johnny Gaddar on Monday. I was really looking forward to it cos Sriram Raghavan’s debut Ek Hasina Thi was a mind-blowing experience. I really liked JG cos it was very different from the average Bollywood thriller. The title sequence, for example, is amazing. Not since Casino Royale have I seen a title sequence this good. The film was a tribute to James Headly Chase and Vijay Anand and many scenes and shots paid direct homage to them. Some of the shots and transitions were very clever. One might say that it was not really a slick film but I believe that is where JG’s style lies – simplicity.
I was loving the film and then came the climax. It reminded me of some of the telephonic conversations of B&W Hindi films. It goes like this….a character is busy doing something when the phone rings. He/She picks up the phone
“Hello……..kya?.......Bhaiyya ka accident ho gaya hai?........Unki jaan khatre mein hai?”
You know what I mean? This is what I call the DA or Dumbness Allowance. Through some ridiculous dialogues (and acting), we are told something that the filmmaker thinks we are not intelligent enough to interpret. Subtlety, common sense and interpretation go out the window.
I don’t want to spoil JG for those of you who haven’t seen it but simply put, the ending insults your intelligence. Same thing happened with Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. I know the film took a beating at the box office but I loved the film. But I felt like shooting Shaad Ali in the head when I saw the end. A movie that screams class till the end, turns crass. On the other hand, consider a movie like The Prestige by Christopher Nolan. The whole movie is littered with clues and when you watch the movie for a second time, you realise that it was all front of your eyes. Here is a film that challenges you every second and thus keeps you glued to the screen.
For Bollywood, not much has changed since those B&W hindi films. Filmmakers still think that the audience is not smart enough to take a hint. Today’s audiences are capable of appreciating good cinema (Bollywood, Hollywood and International). And don’t give me any of that, 80 percent-of-India-lives-in-the-villages bullshit. Villager is not synonymous with dumb. Some of the urban movie-goers, on the other hand, might need a crash-course in common sense.
There's no point in making a smart thriller for dumb people and you cannot expect people to get smarter by watching dumb thrillers. Give the audience a chance. We may not look it but we’re pretty smart. And for those of you who just don’t want to use their brains while watching a movie, Partner is out on DVD.
But finally after 2 weeks, I made it! I got the chance to watch Johnny Gaddar on Monday. I was really looking forward to it cos Sriram Raghavan’s debut Ek Hasina Thi was a mind-blowing experience. I really liked JG cos it was very different from the average Bollywood thriller. The title sequence, for example, is amazing. Not since Casino Royale have I seen a title sequence this good. The film was a tribute to James Headly Chase and Vijay Anand and many scenes and shots paid direct homage to them. Some of the shots and transitions were very clever. One might say that it was not really a slick film but I believe that is where JG’s style lies – simplicity.
I was loving the film and then came the climax. It reminded me of some of the telephonic conversations of B&W Hindi films. It goes like this….a character is busy doing something when the phone rings. He/She picks up the phone
“Hello……..kya?.......Bhaiyya ka accident ho gaya hai?........Unki jaan khatre mein hai?”
You know what I mean? This is what I call the DA or Dumbness Allowance. Through some ridiculous dialogues (and acting), we are told something that the filmmaker thinks we are not intelligent enough to interpret. Subtlety, common sense and interpretation go out the window.
I don’t want to spoil JG for those of you who haven’t seen it but simply put, the ending insults your intelligence. Same thing happened with Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. I know the film took a beating at the box office but I loved the film. But I felt like shooting Shaad Ali in the head when I saw the end. A movie that screams class till the end, turns crass. On the other hand, consider a movie like The Prestige by Christopher Nolan. The whole movie is littered with clues and when you watch the movie for a second time, you realise that it was all front of your eyes. Here is a film that challenges you every second and thus keeps you glued to the screen.
For Bollywood, not much has changed since those B&W hindi films. Filmmakers still think that the audience is not smart enough to take a hint. Today’s audiences are capable of appreciating good cinema (Bollywood, Hollywood and International). And don’t give me any of that, 80 percent-of-India-lives-in-the-villages bullshit. Villager is not synonymous with dumb. Some of the urban movie-goers, on the other hand, might need a crash-course in common sense.
There's no point in making a smart thriller for dumb people and you cannot expect people to get smarter by watching dumb thrillers. Give the audience a chance. We may not look it but we’re pretty smart. And for those of you who just don’t want to use their brains while watching a movie, Partner is out on DVD.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Hip Hop! Ya don’t stop!
A good-looking black guy singing (or maybe talking) with the some brilliant beats in the background. Some beautiful young women dancing around, flashy clothes, cars and beautiful locales. I remember that I just could not keep my feet still. The music blew my mind. It still does.
“Getting jiggy wit it” by Will Smith remains on of my favourite songs till date. The video by Hype Williams still gives me goosebumps. This is how I discovered Hip-Hop – on a Sunday afternoon in 1995. Back then I had no idea what Big Will was talking about on the song. It took me a while to figure out that he was indeed speaking English. But it didn’t matter cos the music was what got me.
Living in a small town, I had little access to international music in the early 90s. It was only cassettes and they were rather expensive by my pocket-money standards. It was MTV that got me started and I started watching some crazy music videos. Somehow rock music never made sense to me then. Rap and Hip-hop was what got my attention. For the first 5 years I listened to only Will Smith. I even bought a CD of Big Willie Style, which cost me 450 bucks in 1995. I had to skip a meal for the next 6 months.
After a year or two I said to myself, “Hey this guy actually seems to be saying something”. Curious, I checked out the lyrics on the internet (which was again an expensive proposition) and voila! Not only was he saying stuff, he was rhyming! Shit just got deeper!
I really got into black artists and started watching out for their videos. All those videos were filled with flashy clothes, shiny cars and well-endowed women – and I wasn’t complaining. Then one evening, watching MTV select, I was hoping to hear Sisqo’s “Thong Song” as Nikhil’s pick of the week but what I heard instead was Marshall Bruce Mathers a.k.a Eminem. I was disappointed but I recorded the song onto my tape recorder anyway. Later that night, when I listened to it, I realized that this guy’s pronunciation was much easier to follow as compared to the black guys and that this guy was absolutely and positively INSANE!
He was spewing venom in every direction and in such style! Abuses flew around like mikes in the parliament. He was abusing his mom, wife and god knows who else. He was using poetry to vent his frustration. “The Real Slim Shady” wasn’t exactly one of his best songs but when I heard “The Way I am”, I realized that this guy was destined for greatness. His rhyming, flow, delivery were all magical. From there on, a whole new world opened up – Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Tupac Shakur, Notorious BIG, Ice Cube, Nas, Jay Z, 50 Cent, Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco and so many more.
Hip-hop today is the most popular form of music. Yes it has overtaken Rock-n-roll! But here in India, I have hardly found hip-hop fans. People are still crazy about rock music and those who do listen to hip-hop couldn’t care less about the lyrics. They want something that they can dance to. That’s all!
Rock lovers on the other hand, look down upon hip-hop. “they keep saying the same thing again and again”, “it’s just dhikchik dhikchik music”, “there are no meaningful songs” are some of the arguments I hear against hip-hop. Well assholes, have you ever tried to listen to what they’re saying? Yes they talk about sex, drugs and violence. That is how some of them have lived their lives. That’s how they came up. Are you trying to tell me that rockstars have nothing to with these 3 things? Sex, Drugs, Rock-n-Roll, does that ring a bell, numb nuts? Hip-hop chooses to express it’s lifestyle in the songs. So when rock stars want to write about puppy love while they’re giving it doggy style to a bunch of hippies, it’s fine? Tripping on acid, they want to point fingers at a rapper who talks about smoking weed?
I love my U2, I enjoy my Pink Floyd and I worship my Doors. Rock has changed the world but that does not mean that hip-hop is in anyway inferior. 2pac, Biggie, Nas, Rakim, Jay Z - they are all poets who have revolutionized the game in their own way so first listen to them before you say that hip-hop is trash. I am still discovering hip-hop. There are expressions and slang that I still don’t understand but I try to read up and understand. I’m not telling you to make an effort to like hip-hop, but if you can’t then shut up.
“Cos I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news everyday I am
Radio won’t even play my jam
Cos I am, whatever you say I am
If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am
In the papers, the news everyday I am
I don’t know it’s jut the way I am”
Eminem, The Way I am
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